"Self Pity, How to Be Downwardly Mobile"

Check out Don Miller's blog and what he has to say about self-pity.


http://donmilleris.com/2009/08/16/self-pity-how-to-be-downwardly-mobile/

I especially love this quote: "... you either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you." Great stuff!

Idea

I love this quote from Andy Stanley's message:

"Idea: a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action. Ideas are powerful. They’re conceived in the mind, yet they are capable of shaping the future of a person’s life. They’re capable of shaping the culture of entire nations. As a result, we must be careful of which ideas we choose to reject and which ideas we choose to embrace. With one idea, you can crush the hope of a single person. And with one idea, you have the power to change the world."

"Hatred is powerful. Racism is powerful. Communism is powerful. But the most powerful idea is the idea of forgiveness."

To hear Andy's message, visit the link below.

http://www.northpoint.tv/

Humility

There is something to be said for humility. I remember a sermon, the Sunday following 9-11-2001. Many of us attended church that Sunday to seek comfort following the horrific acts of the preceding week. Many of us sat in the pews, asking, "What Next?" The minister called the congregation to come down front and stand as a group, unified in prayer. I'll never forget something he said just prior to leading us all in prayer. I'll never forget the look in his eye, almost as if he were speaking directly to me. He said, "if you pray with humility and sincerity, God listens." That statement has stuck with me from that day forward.

And as we closed our eyes and prayed together, I thought to myself, "if I win that car tomorrow, maybe I can donate some of the money to those poor victims" and then dismissed the notion of the contest for the next 24 hours. You see, I had recently entered my name in a drawing to win a new Dodge Durango as a fluke, not thinking anything of it at the time. On the Friday following 9-11, I was notified that I was one of five finalists. Now here I was at church, contemplating showing up for the contest just to make an appearance and see what would happen. The next day, out of thousands of entries, I won a $35,000 contest. God listened. I sold the vehicle, took a severance and made sure to make good on my promise. I donated some of the winnings to help those in need.

Respect, Trust, & Acceptance

Some things must be earned:

• Respect
• Trust

If we want others to respect us, we must first learn to respect ourselves. We must care enough about ourselves that we strive to be our best selves at all times. Self-respect includes hygiene, physical, mental, emotional well-being, and spiritual health. If we are fighting with demons or hiding from a past wound, we must acknowledge whatever is buried deep within us that gets in the way of our optimal well-being. Any anger should be recognized, and then we should let it go. Forgive. Move on.

We must also respect others. We must respect others individually and as a whole. Even if they have different values or belief systems than our own, we should not look down on anyone for being different than we are, for if we all were the same, the world would be a very boring place, right? And if there were only one gender, there would be no more human reproduction. So we must appreciate others regardless of gender, race, political affiliation, religion, or ethnicity. We may not agree with them, but we must respect their rights and agree to disagree. By showing respect for an individual or a people with a different background or set of values, we in turn gain their respect and open up the opportunity for dialogue. It is through this mutual respect and open dialogue that we might hope to learn something while also teaching and influencing others.

Trust is another commodity that simply must be earned. Face it. You wouldn't trust a stranger with your wallet or your deepest, darkest secrets, right? But if that same person gets to know you over time, demonstrates loyalty and a willingness to protect your interests, then you might be a little more trusting than when you first met, right? This is an example of someone earning your trust.

Some things cannot be earned:

• Grace
• Forgiveness
• Unconditional Love

Some things simply cannot be earned but are free for the asking. When someone forgives us, it's not because we have earned it, but rather because he or she made a choice to forgive us. This is an example of grace. God has grace on us when we ask for it. Unconditional love also cannot be earned. When we have a child, we love that child unconditionally, regardless of all the pain and suffering the child may put us through. If the child spills grape juice on our new carpet, we don't stop loving the child. We may become angry or frustrated in that moment, but we still love the child. Unconditional love cannot be earned.

Acceptance falls into a gray area, sometimes overlapping into both areas. Some can accept others whom they don't necessarily respect or trust, but this kind of acceptance is not geniune, rather, it is conditional.

Introduction

So often we find ourselves wondering, "where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently?" Well, here's a little secret: Life isn't easy and NO ONE has all the answers.

For some of us, ideal role models weren't always available when we were young, so we end up learning some lessons the hard way, and maybe even maturing a little later in life than most. This is my gift to you - a collection of little lessons I have learned along the way that I would like to pass along to others, in hopes that someone, even if it's just one person, can glean something from one of my lessons learned.

I am not a doctor, a psychologist or a minister. I am simply a middle-aged working mom who has been blessed with many opportunities, second chances and now a desire and responsibility to give back. When we are given a gift, we can't fully appreciate the gift unless we make the most of that gift and help others find their own gifts in life. I guess some might call that paying it forward. I hope my gift to you will be received as such.