Respect, Trust, & Acceptance

Some things must be earned:

• Respect
• Trust

If we want others to respect us, we must first learn to respect ourselves. We must care enough about ourselves that we strive to be our best selves at all times. Self-respect includes hygiene, physical, mental, emotional well-being, and spiritual health. If we are fighting with demons or hiding from a past wound, we must acknowledge whatever is buried deep within us that gets in the way of our optimal well-being. Any anger should be recognized, and then we should let it go. Forgive. Move on.

We must also respect others. We must respect others individually and as a whole. Even if they have different values or belief systems than our own, we should not look down on anyone for being different than we are, for if we all were the same, the world would be a very boring place, right? And if there were only one gender, there would be no more human reproduction. So we must appreciate others regardless of gender, race, political affiliation, religion, or ethnicity. We may not agree with them, but we must respect their rights and agree to disagree. By showing respect for an individual or a people with a different background or set of values, we in turn gain their respect and open up the opportunity for dialogue. It is through this mutual respect and open dialogue that we might hope to learn something while also teaching and influencing others.

Trust is another commodity that simply must be earned. Face it. You wouldn't trust a stranger with your wallet or your deepest, darkest secrets, right? But if that same person gets to know you over time, demonstrates loyalty and a willingness to protect your interests, then you might be a little more trusting than when you first met, right? This is an example of someone earning your trust.

Some things cannot be earned:

• Grace
• Forgiveness
• Unconditional Love

Some things simply cannot be earned but are free for the asking. When someone forgives us, it's not because we have earned it, but rather because he or she made a choice to forgive us. This is an example of grace. God has grace on us when we ask for it. Unconditional love also cannot be earned. When we have a child, we love that child unconditionally, regardless of all the pain and suffering the child may put us through. If the child spills grape juice on our new carpet, we don't stop loving the child. We may become angry or frustrated in that moment, but we still love the child. Unconditional love cannot be earned.

Acceptance falls into a gray area, sometimes overlapping into both areas. Some can accept others whom they don't necessarily respect or trust, but this kind of acceptance is not geniune, rather, it is conditional.